The most common involve torture apologists claiming something benign is akin to getting a stick shoved up your ass. You know, the "I had to listen to a dirty hippie liberal last week, now THAT was torture". Take the Falafel-meister and the formerly funny Dennis Miller yucking it up about torture last week.
MILLER: You know, I had a caller on my show, Bill today, the radio show, a guy named A.J. from Milwaukee. He had the best take on this. He said change the public relations of waterboarding, say that people are emitting too much CO2 and when you pour water down their nose, it cuts into their CO2 exhalation.
O’REILLY: So it’s better for the planet.
MILLER: You can call it greenboarding. And we could sell it. Greenboarding! There you go!
Hahahahhaha!! Lol!!! Too funny!!! The mental destruction and potential death of a possibly innocent person is High-lareous!! You guys should be in fucking Vegas, or at least headlining at the Laff Shack.
This is why you should never joke about torture...unless its funny. Same goes for any of the millions of highly offensive topics that people joke about. Problem with conservatives...they simply aren't funny. (One need only to sample the horrendous 1/2 hr news hour for confirmation). Which brings me to one exception....Holy Joe Lieberman.
At a black-tie function last week, Joe said this....
We had hoped Vice President Cheney would be here tonight. I hope it's not his back injury that's keeping him away. Apparently, he hurt it moving some things out of his office. Personally, I had no idea that waterboards were so heavy.Well done. He got the memo. To make a joke about torture, you have to bend the theme around something that is acceptable to mock. Torture = not funny. Mocking the prick that orders torture = funny. Now, Lieberman is also a prick that condones torture, so he loses some points there. Plus, this was not "fall on the floor, shit your pants" funny by any means. He could have said...
We had hoped Vice President Cheney would be here tonight. I hope it's not his back injury that's keeping him away. Apparently, he hurt it trying out some toys from his Abu Ghraib collection. I'm told that he forgot to tell Condi the "safe word".Or another improvement....
We had hoped Vice President Cheney would be here tonight. I hope it's not his back injury that's keeping him away. Apparently, he's an evil cocksucker that deserves to rot in federal ass-rape prison! Shit fuck! ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!
So the lesson is....don't make jokes about torture, unless they are funny. And if you're a conservative, you'll need help, because you're inherently humorless. Lieberman obviously has some remnants of his liberal roots, for he was also able to shove out this gem...
I was so close [to being McCain's vice president]: As close as Alaska is to Russia.
Nice dig. Perhaps an acknowledgment that nominating a know-nothing as VP was a huge fucking mistake?
4 comments:
Dennis Miller has never been funny.
Just cuz he was on a late night television show at the same time as Jan Hooks and Phil Hartman does not, in any way, negate the fact that he was the most worthless stage prop ever devised.
You're right. He sucks and has always sucked. Its just when he'd let loose on his rants with so many random metaphors shoved into one sentence, I laughed so the other people in the room wouldn't think I didn't get the jokes. I regret thinking he was funny at some point :(
And he (Miller) sucks at acting too!!! Bastard. I won't be happy till I hear at least a hint that Holder will bring charges against the Evil Ones.
themom, the recent comments by Panetta seem clear that no action will be taken against the torturers. Which probably means that the condoners and orderers of torture will escape prosecution. Truly sad.
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