Monday, February 9, 2009

The only hope for Republicans is.....

...extreme short term memory for the American public.

The only hope Republicans have for future electoral wins is for everyone to forget everything they said, did, bragged about, rubbed in our faces, and crapped on the living room floor for 8 fucking years. The thing that is so galling is that they are, currently, opposing one, if not the only, thing that can avert a MAJOR DOWNTURN. And they are doing it by saying the exact opposite of the shit they said, oh, not 3 fucking months ago.

Now, they'll bitch about the deficit. But 3 months ago when they had the reins, doubling the thing to 10 trillion, some Republicans were still saying crap like "Reagen proved that deficits don't matter". Had a quite intelligent Republican actually say that load of horseshit not to long ago. If you have a decent memory, for one, you wouldn't be a Republican, but you may be a Demuhcrat or an Induhpendent. Get enough of that variety and you may get above 50%. Or at least to 47 and purge a another few million from the rolls.

Still, there's a glimmer of hope for Republicans who don't want to do the rational thing and, uh, moderate a little fucking bit. They can stay bat shit conservative, not compromising a bit on their proven-to-fail policies, and gain a few of dem women voters w/ Palin and some African Americans w/ Michael Steele.

(As an aside, more proof that the base of the Republican party is missing a few brain cells. Palin proved not to get a single fucking woman more than would have been gotten. Look at the numbers.

2008 from 2004:
% Women Voting for Dem increased 8%

% White Women Voting for Dem increased 2%


Michael Steele, even more ridiculous. Remington Steele is more palatable to blacks than Michael Steele. Look at the same exit poll data referenced above, you see 89% voted for Kerry on 04, and it went up to 95% for Obama in 08. I should say AGAINST Bush in 08, although Bush actually increased polling in all demographic groups (including blacks) in 2004 compared to 2000. So, that 6% increase means, what, that blacks only voted for Obama because he's black??!?! No, only a short-term memory Republican would think that. Most black folks will never vote Republican because they realize that that would be like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders. Remington Steele is not going to get them more than 1.53% African Americans into the Republican column, and that might be streching in. Heh, Remington Steele...that's his name now...I'm a petty petty man.)

Anyway, back to the point. Republicans depend on a short term memory for everyone, not just them. This is where things like graphs and facts come in. Have them prepared. Don't let up. Throw the truth in their faces. Here's one....



See it. The downturn, in terms of job losses, is already WAAAAYYYY fucking worse than the most recent two recessions. The one in the early 90's (at the end of Poppy Bush's tenure) and the one in the early 00's (started in March 2001 shortly after the appointment of Prince George of Crawford....sure....we are TOTALLY a democracy).

Take a look at the drops. 1990 recession, big drop from month 8 to month 12. Gulf war at or following that interval, with funds likely "stimulating" economy. From March 2001, months 9 through 12 steep, that would put that ending around the, at that time, successful "completion" of the war in Afghanistan (the war that never ends). Then another drop around month 24 to month 26. What happened then? Inception of Operation Iraqi Liberation to Mission Accomplished. Damn, don't you love when shit just falls out like that? Causation or correlation or whatever, it is what it is. So, what does that portend for our NEAR future. Is this the "surge" in Afghanistan that was hyped (but recently downplayed)? Or is this a new conflict? Please, for the love of all that which does not suck, tell me otherwise.

Another point(s)...the steepness of the curve and the "month date" we are on. The steepness portends a much longer recovery (we hope), much more difficult work ahead to right this ship, and the very real possibility that we could enter a depression or deflationary period. Inform people of this DATA and it becomes clear that the people who oppose the [stimulus/ recovery/ jobs-program/ watered-down-capitulation-to-the-insane] do not fucking care if more people suffer or that we could suffer the complete loss of our democracy and social safety net. In fact, its becoming increasingly likely that the majority of the opposition to the stimulus is hoping for these negative effects to occur.

The recession, more amusingly, is at fucking month 14. That's December 2007. I know, I know, it takes a quarter or so to figure out, definitively, that you're in a recession. Still, that's month 11 after the required-knowledge-date. All the while, spokesperson after spokesliar in the Bush administration fought and argued and LIED that we were not in a recession. They had access to the data months before WE knew, yet they lied and lied and lied for months that we were not in a recession. WE were brought into the loop in December 2008. You wanna tell me that the election wouldn't, oh, I don't know, been a complete fucking landslide (even more than it was) for Obama??!?! If it was shown that Bush and McCain's beloved ideology was giving us ANOTHER recession and doing things to make it worse, you wanna tell me Republicans would be getting some votes from folks getting foreclosed out of their houses? If you answer the above two questions in the affirmative, you are a Republican and are by now highly offended. I apologize. Now get your butt back to Malkin or some Heavy Drinker site you frequent.

Speaking of said-Chucky-doll. I like when I google something and it links to a Republican site and they're actual numbers and facts and shit. I knew they weren't completely stupid. Good for them.

Stimulus passes cloture vote. Lazy Republicans avoid having to read from the Bible for 24 hours on the Senate floor. Apparently, they were afraid they might learn something antithetical to their ideology. LOOOVE how Malkin refers this as the generational theft bill...how catchy to the non-dipshit!! Got in a tizzy about Cornyn for missing the vote. Wanna make sure the lockstep Republicans stay that way. In favor of Bush, in opposition to Obama, in favor of Plutocracy, in opposition to sanity. Didn't see these fuckers complain about Bush's tax cuts which cost nearly double this stimulus bill. 1.35 trillion for tax cuts, mostly to the rich.

For a laugh, or a scare, look at the comments section of the Malkin blog. Completely like a Heavy Hitters discussion. Thou dost project too much.

Monday, February 2, 2009

In Defense of Holy Joe

Some in the blawging community and fans of the far-left smear sites tend to be aghast when those on the right make jokes about their horrible policies. And usually, most of these jokes are fucking lame.

The most common involve torture apologists claiming something benign is akin to getting a stick shoved up your ass. You know, the "I had to listen to a dirty hippie liberal last week, now THAT was torture". Take the Falafel-meister and the formerly funny Dennis Miller yucking it up about torture last week.

MILLER: You know, I had a caller on my show, Bill today, the radio show, a guy named A.J. from Milwaukee. He had the best take on this. He said change the public relations of waterboarding, say that people are emitting too much CO2 and when you pour water down their nose, it cuts into their CO2 exhalation.

O’REILLY: So it’s better for the planet.

MILLER: You can call it greenboarding. And we could sell it. Greenboarding! There you go!


Hahahahhaha!! Lol!!! Too funny!!! The mental destruction and potential death of a possibly innocent person is High-lareous!! You guys should be in fucking Vegas, or at least headlining at the Laff Shack.

This is why you should never joke about torture...unless its funny. Same goes for any of the millions of highly offensive topics that people joke about. Problem with conservatives...they simply aren't funny. (One need only to sample the horrendous 1/2 hr news hour for confirmation). Which brings me to one exception....Holy Joe Lieberman.

At a black-tie function last week, Joe said this....

We had hoped Vice President Cheney would be here tonight. I hope it's not his back injury that's keeping him away. Apparently, he hurt it moving some things out of his office. Personally, I had no idea that waterboards were so heavy.

Well done. He got the memo. To make a joke about torture, you have to bend the theme around something that is acceptable to mock. Torture = not funny. Mocking the prick that orders torture = funny. Now, Lieberman is also a prick that condones torture, so he loses some points there. Plus, this was not "fall on the floor, shit your pants" funny by any means. He could have said...

We had hoped Vice President Cheney would be here tonight. I hope it's not his back injury that's keeping him away. Apparently, he hurt it trying out some toys from his Abu Ghraib collection. I'm told that he forgot to tell Condi the "safe word".
Or another improvement....

We had hoped Vice President Cheney would be here tonight. I hope it's not his back injury that's keeping him away. Apparently, he's an evil cocksucker that deserves to rot in federal ass-rape prison! Shit fuck! ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!

So the lesson is....don't make jokes about torture, unless they are funny. And if you're a conservative, you'll need help, because you're inherently humorless. Lieberman obviously has some remnants of his liberal roots, for he was also able to shove out this gem...

I was so close [to being McCain's vice president]: As close as Alaska is to Russia.

Nice dig. Perhaps an acknowledgment that nominating a know-nothing as VP was a huge fucking mistake?