Time for Shitty Update !!!!|~/2!!?

Hmmmm, what to talk about. Been off the paint for a solid day, so its time. Uhhhh, what do I want to talk about......hmmmm....fingers tapping.....OOH!!!

How bout...Things that suck. Or people that suck. Persons, places, and things that sucks. Lets talk about nouns. Nouns suck. Not like adverbs...adverbs fucking rule.

1) People that bitch about updates but don't update their own shitty blog, even though they don't have a fucking thing to do except for IM and blog and occasionally tend to their demon spawn. I have work to do. Plus, this paint ain't gonna huff itself. So lay off and bitch about things that don't apply to your hypocritical ass. Nuff said....well, no, I'll say more later I'm sure...so, not nuff said..more 2 B sed l8tr....laugh out loud.

2) People who type LOL. Anyone EVER say "laugh out loud" ONCE, say, anytime before 1998?!?!?! No, no one ever said that. So fucking quit it...please. I will permit LMAO, or TWFF, or OMG,IJPMP.

Somehow, the perversion of our language was necessitated by cell phones and instant messages. Ok, I understand cell phones. Ever have to text "How are you" or "My ass is on fire"?? Then you know that pressing 446669 277733 99966688 is a major imposition, would much rather shorten to 446669 777 88. As for you folks with a blackberry or full keyboard on your IPOD, there is no excuse for you lazy mofos. And the IM'ers out there, even less of an excuse. Unless your fingers are too fat from sitting in front of the computer 23 hrs out of the day while gorging on cheetos and taco hell, take the extra 1.5 calories to not make me figure out what "pwned" fucking means. Seriously, I don't have all fucking day to google some nonsense word derived from a typo made in 1995.

3) Guitar Hero, Rock Band, or other star-fucking pursuits. Did the Real World producers not respond to your video submittal? Too afraid of bugs to appear on Fear Factor? Not enough talent to appear on the reality show involving citizens of this country who clearly "got" what you lack? Then satisfy your need for 15 minutes of fame by having pixelized fans marvel at your ability to tap buttons on your glorified Simple Simon!!! Have the virtual world be amazed at your rock-tastic skillz!!!! Relive your air guitar fantasies born when the likes of Boston and Slash and CC Deville ruled the airwaves, especially during the month of Rocktober (and through the first week of Rockvember).

4) Aerosmith and any other fucking has-been band willing to whore themselves on a video game. Yes, I saw this commercial...Rock Band Aerosmith. Leave this act of desperation it to the douches who were willing to pitch Gap jeans, do remakes of there past hits of the 70's with sneakered rappers of the 80's, and let one of their daughters do a strip tease in one of their shitty 90's videos (not to mention that daughter didn't even know she was related to the deadbeat until her teens). Atleast the likes of Bret Michaels has the decency to publically humiliate himself on national teevee to maintain his prescription pill addiction. But that's not fucking good enough for Steve Tyler, nooooo!! He's got to maintain an aura of being a rock star by having 30 year olds fake-strum to "Dream On" or scream "Yaka Yaka Yakaww" to "Dude Looks Like A Lady". They're projecting their own douche-baggery to the rest of us!!! Fuck them!!! Don't buy this shit, please. Your own doucheness will decrease and Steven Tyler will have less money to pay for meth or whatever sent his ass back to rehab. So its a win win.

5) Rags from Big Lots. After removing your sandals, do you ever take off your dark socks and have to deal with a pound of navy-hued toe cheese between your toes? Sucks, don't it? Now apply that nasty feeling to your throat after attempting to huff a spray of premium Krylon. Seriously, Big Lots purchasers...you need to do a little more searching for quality products. I'd almost rather use a manually-aerated shop rag than the shit you sell. Until you get your act together, I'm boycotting your store. Do you want to lose more customers? Because I know at least 7 more paint huffers who are willing to scribble what they remember to be their names on my petition. We will bring you down, Big Lots!!! So, the ball is in your court.

6) Bloggers that are too stupid to put pictures and shit on their blog. Seriously, type enough? Like I want to READ your thoughts and feelings. No, I want colorful pictures and embedded videos that give your blog the look of professionalism and alieve my brain of having to work so much. This does not apply to start-up bloggers with less than 3 posts...give them a fucking break, you nazi!!

7) Republicans. Republicans suck ass. Nuff said.