arrozconpollo

All This Fascism Talk...

2009-04-27T08:14:00.000-07:00

Conservatives really piss me off.

They spend 8 years telling us "deficits don't matter", then when the debt increases under Democratic leadership, they throw a hissy fit. As if domestic spending for new construction jobs, extended unemployment benefits, education funding, and health care is somehow not as worthy as cost-plus no-bid contracts for asshole defense contractors to blow up more brown people.

They spend 8 years defending the absolute worst excesses and power-grabs by the Bush Administration, yet claim that Obama is trying to destroy the Constitution by some imagined effort to take away their guns. Its as if the Patriot Act, torture, warrantless wiretapping, warrantless searches and seizure, indefinite detention, GITMO, destruction of Habeus Corpus, bypassing the legislature, encouraging violence against the judiciary, free-speech zones, and, yes, having federal marshalls confiscate guns during Katrina, all of this, never happened.

Now we have insane fuckers like Glen Beck and Michelle Bachmann peddling ridiculous conspiracy HYPOTHESES about National Service Youth and FEMA camps and a whole host of other wacky, unsubstantiated claims. Glen Beck is just the fucking worst too. He constantly has Jonah Goldberg, the author of the incredibly stupid Liberal Fascism, to argue that its LIBERALS that are the fascists. Give me a fucking break.

To address this, first check out David Neiwert's destruction of Goldberg's fact-less hypothesis.

Beyond the Klan, completely missing from the pages of Goldberg's book is any mention of the Silver Shirts, the American Nazi Party, the Posse Comitatus, the Aryan Nations, or the National Alliance -- all of them openly fascist organizations, many of them involved in some of the nation's most horrific historical events. (The Oklahoma City bombing, for instance, was the product of a blueprint drawn up by the National Alliance's William Pierce.) Goldberg sees fit to declare people like Wilson, FDR, LBJ, and Hillary Clinton "American fascists," but he makes no mention of William Dudley Pelley, Gerald L.K. Smith, George Lincoln Rockwell, William Potter Gale, Richard Butler, or David Duke -- all of them bona fide fascists: the real thing.

Additionally, Jonah and Glenn provide absolute proof that fascism is a tool of the left....the Nazi's were the National Socialists!! Gad damn, he got us thur! Actually, not so much. Besides not knowing what populism is (Glenn thinks populism equals popular), he doesn't understand the difference between socialism and fascism. Geebus, there's at least two folks brave enough to post on Hannity's forums to post some basic facts proving that Glenn is full of shit...

Many conservatives accuse Hitler of being a leftist, on the grounds that his party was named "National Socialist." But socialism requires worker ownership and control of the means of production. In Nazi Germany, private capitalist individuals owned the means of production, and they in turn were frequently controlled by the Nazi party and state. True socialism does not advocate such economic dictatorship -- it can only be democratic. The primary basis for this claim is that Hitler was a National Socialist. The word "National" evokes the state, and the word "Socialist" openly identifies itself as such.

Of Course, the rest of the Hannitites peddle the same bullshit, circular illogic that Glenn does. Anyway, it was nice to witness some rationality on an irrational forum (memories of the Heavy Hitters coming back). But beyond what some liberal blogger or some head cases on Hannity's forums think, lets look at it point by point. Fascism, luckly enough, has several points...14 to be exact.


Dr. Lawrence Britt has examined the fascist regimes of Hitler (Germany), Mussolini (Italy), Franco (Spain), Suharto (Indonesia) and several Latin American regimes. Britt found 14 defining characteristics common to each:

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism - Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.

2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights - Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of "need." The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.

3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause - The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial , ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.

4. Supremacy of the Military - Even when there are widespread
domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

5. Rampant Sexism - The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Divorce, abortion and homosexuality are suppressed and the state is represented as the ultimate guardian of the family institution.

6. Controlled Mass Media - Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.

7. Obsession with National Security - Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

8. Religion and Government are Intertwined - Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government's policies or actions.

9. Corporate Power is Protected - The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

10. Labor Power is Suppressed - Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.

11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts - Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts and letters is openly attacked.

12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment - Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.

13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption - Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.

14. Fraudulent Elections - Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

Decide for yourself what constitute's fascism. Obama's stimulus plans, or Bush's wars for profiteering. Obama's respect for the Geneva Conventions, or Bush's torture programs. Obama's closing of Gitmo, or Bush's actual structure of black sites and secret prisons. Obama's respect for the separation of church and state, and Bush's....ah, well, you get it.

Nevermind that Bush's granddaddy was a Nazi financier and suspected of being involved in the Business Plot to overthrow FDR and install a fascist government.

The only hope for Republicans is.....

2009-02-09T20:07:00.000-08:00

...extreme short term memory for the American public.

The only hope Republicans have for future electoral wins is for everyone to forget everything they said, did, bragged about, rubbed in our faces, and crapped on the living room floor for 8 fucking years. The thing that is so galling is that they are, currently, opposing one, if not the only, thing that can avert a MAJOR DOWNTURN. And they are doing it by saying the exact opposite of the shit they said, oh, not 3 fucking months ago.

Now, they'll bitch about the deficit. But 3 months ago when they had the reins, doubling the thing to 10 trillion, some Republicans were still saying crap like "Reagen proved that deficits don't matter". Had a quite intelligent Republican actually say that load of horseshit not to long ago. If you have a decent memory, for one, you wouldn't be a Republican, but you may be a Demuhcrat or an Induhpendent. Get enough of that variety and you may get above 50%. Or at least to 47 and purge a another few million from the rolls.

Still, there's a glimmer of hope for Republicans who don't want to do the rational thing and, uh, moderate a little fucking bit. They can stay bat shit conservative, not compromising a bit on their proven-to-fail policies, and gain a few of dem women voters w/ Palin and some African Americans w/ Michael Steele.

(As an aside, more proof that the base of the Republican party is missing a few brain cells. Palin proved not to get a single fucking woman more than would have been gotten. Look at the numbers.

2008 from 2004:
% Women Voting for Dem increased 8%
% White Women Voting for Dem increased 2%

Michael Steele, even more ridiculous. Remington Steele is more palatable to blacks than Michael Steele. Look at the same exit poll data referenced above, you see 89% voted for Kerry on 04, and it went up to 95% for Obama in 08. I should say AGAINST Bush in 08, although Bush actually increased polling in all demographic groups (including blacks) in 2004 compared to 2000. So, that 6% increase means, what, that blacks only voted for Obama because he's black??!?! No, only a short-term memory Republican would think that. Most black folks will never vote Republican because they realize that that would be like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders. Remington Steele is not going to get them more than 1.53% African Americans into the Republican column, and that might be streching in. Heh, Remington Steele...that's his name now...I'm a petty petty man.)

Anyway, back to the point. Republicans depend on a short term memory for everyone, not just them. This is where things like graphs and facts come in. Have them prepared. Don't let up. Throw the truth in their faces. Here's one....

See it. The downturn, in terms of job losses, is already WAAAAYYYY fucking worse than the most recent two recessions. The one in the early 90's (at the end of Poppy Bush's tenure) and the one in the early 00's (started in March 2001 shortly after the appointment of Prince George of Crawford....sure....we are TOTALLY a democracy).

Take a look at the drops. 1990 recession, big drop from month 8 to month 12. Gulf war at or following that interval, with funds likely "stimulating" economy. From March 2001, months 9 through 12 steep, that would put that ending around the, at that time, successful "completion" of the war in Afghanistan (the war that never ends). Then another drop around month 24 to month 26. What happened then? Inception of Operation Iraqi Liberation to Mission Accomplished. Damn, don't you love when shit just falls out like that? Causation or correlation or whatever, it is what it is. So, what does that portend for our NEAR future. Is this the "surge" in Afghanistan that was hyped (but recently downplayed)? Or is this a new conflict? Please, for the love of all that which does not suck, tell me otherwise.

Another point(s)...the steepness of the curve and the "month date" we are on. The steepness portends a much longer recovery (we hope), much more difficult work ahead to right this ship, and the very real possibility that we could enter a depression or deflationary period. Inform people of this DATA and it becomes clear that the people who oppose the [stimulus/ recovery/ jobs-program/ watered-down-capitulation-to-the-insane] do not fucking care if more people suffer or that we could suffer the complete loss of our democracy and social safety net. In fact, its becoming increasingly likely that the majority of the opposition to the stimulus is hoping for these negative effects to occur.

The recession, more amusingly, is at fucking month 14. That's December 2007. I know, I know, it takes a quarter or so to figure out, definitively, that you're in a recession. Still, that's month 11 after the required-knowledge-date. All the while, spokesperson after spokesliar in the Bush administration fought and argued and LIED that we were not in a recession. They had access to the data months before WE knew, yet they lied and lied and lied for months that we were not in a recession. WE were brought into the loop in December 2008. You wanna tell me that the election wouldn't, oh, I don't know, been a complete fucking landslide (even more than it was) for Obama??!?! If it was shown that Bush and McCain's beloved ideology was giving us ANOTHER recession and doing things to make it worse, you wanna tell me Republicans would be getting some votes from folks getting foreclosed out of their houses? If you answer the above two questions in the affirmative, you are a Republican and are by now highly offended. I apologize. Now get your butt back to Malkin or some Heavy Drinker site you frequent.

Speaking of said-Chucky-doll. I like when I google something and it links to a Republican site and they're actual numbers and facts and shit. I knew they weren't completely stupid. Good for them.

Stimulus passes cloture vote. Lazy Republicans avoid having to read from the Bible for 24 hours on the Senate floor. Apparently, they were afraid they might learn something antithetical to their ideology. LOOOVE how Malkin refers this as the generational theft bill...how catchy to the non-dipshit!! Got in a tizzy about Cornyn for missing the vote. Wanna make sure the lockstep Republicans stay that way. In favor of Bush, in opposition to Obama, in favor of Plutocracy, in opposition to sanity. Didn't see these fuckers complain about Bush's tax cuts which cost nearly double this stimulus bill. 1.35 trillion for tax cuts, mostly to the rich.

For a laugh, or a scare, look at the comments section of the Malkin blog. Completely like a Heavy Hitters discussion. Thou dost project too much.

In Defense of Holy Joe

2009-02-02T07:51:00.000-08:00

Some in the blawging community and fans of the far-left smear sites tend to be aghast when those on the right make jokes about their horrible policies. And usually, most of these jokes are fucking lame.

The most common involve torture apologists claiming something benign is akin to getting a stick shoved up your ass. You know, the "I had to listen to a dirty hippie liberal last week, now THAT was torture". Take the Falafel-meister and the formerly funny Dennis Miller yucking it up about torture last week.

MILLER: You know, I had a caller on my show, Bill today, the radio show, a guy named A.J. from Milwaukee. He had the best take on this. He said change the public relations of waterboarding, say that people are emitting too much CO2 and when you pour water down their nose, it cuts into their CO2 exhalation.

O’REILLY: So it’s better for the planet.

MILLER: You can call it greenboarding. And we could sell it. Greenboarding! There you go!

Hahahahhaha!! Lol!!! Too funny!!! The mental destruction and potential death of a possibly innocent person is High-lareous!! You guys should be in fucking Vegas, or at least headlining at the Laff Shack.

This is why you should never joke about torture...unless its funny. Same goes for any of the millions of highly offensive topics that people joke about. Problem with conservatives...they simply aren't funny. (One need only to sample the horrendous 1/2 hr news hour for confirmation). Which brings me to one exception....Holy Joe Lieberman.

At a black-tie function last week, Joe said this....

We had hoped Vice President Cheney would be here tonight. I hope it's not his back injury that's keeping him away. Apparently, he hurt it moving some things out of his office. Personally, I had no idea that waterboards were so heavy.

Well done. He got the memo. To make a joke about torture, you have to bend the theme around something that is acceptable to mock. Torture = not funny. Mocking the prick that orders torture = funny. Now, Lieberman is also a prick that condones torture, so he loses some points there. Plus, this was not "fall on the floor, shit your pants" funny by any means. He could have said...

We had hoped Vice President Cheney would be here tonight. I hope it's not his back injury that's keeping him away. Apparently, he hurt it trying out some toys from his Abu Ghraib collection. I'm told that he forgot to tell Condi the "safe word".

Or another improvement....

We had hoped Vice President Cheney would be here tonight. I hope it's not his back injury that's keeping him away. Apparently, he's an evil cocksucker that deserves to rot in federal ass-rape prison! Shit fuck! ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!

So the lesson is....don't make jokes about torture, unless they are funny. And if you're a conservative, you'll need help, because you're inherently humorless. Lieberman obviously has some remnants of his liberal roots, for he was also able to shove out this gem...

I was so close [to being McCain's vice president]: As close as Alaska is to Russia.

Nice dig. Perhaps an acknowledgment that nominating a know-nothing as VP was a huge fucking mistake?

Dissolution

2009-01-02T09:34:00.000-08:00

I know its a slow news cycle, what with the Holidays, the economic collapse, the ushering in of our first black president, and Israeli-Palestine clusterfuck, but seriously, does this Ruskie nut deserve this much mention in our press?

First, the headline.

Russian Professor Predicts End of U.S.

Nice. Ok, I'm listening. How about a few details?

Mr. Panarin posits, in brief, that mass immigration, economic decline, and moral degradation will trigger a civil war next fall and the collapse of the dollar. Around the end of June 2010, or early July, he says, the U.S. will break into six pieces -- with Alaska reverting to Russian control.

.....

He based the forecast on classified data supplied to him by FAPSI analysts, he says. He predicts that economic, financial and demographic trends will provoke a political and social crisis in the U.S. When the going gets tough, he says, wealthier states will withhold funds from the federal government and effectively secede from the union. Social unrest up to and including a civil war will follow. The U.S. will then split along ethnic lines, and foreign powers will move in.

Hmmm, mmmkay, I'm a bit dubious. Some of it rings slightly possible, especially the references to states that are cash strapped potentially fighting with the feds. Remember that Arnie recently requested a bailout for Kul-ee-For-ne-yah. While I heard another recent report that the only three states that aren't operating on a deficit are Wyoming, West Virginia, and one of the Dakotas, presumably due to our richness in minerals. But I seriously doubt these piss-ant states will be the first to secede, because who the fuck would follow us. Oh wait...this Ruskie's got a map....

Ah, I see now...the New England states will group in with Hillbilly Heaven and join the EU. While the Goober South and the Texico South will be gobbled up by that powerful Mexican influence. The fierce Canadians will take over the Great Plains states and much of the Rust Belt. Pacific powers will take everything west of the Four Corners meridian, save Alaska. Sarah Palin's noble efforts to watch out for Putin's head will ultimately fail :(

Not much of this makes sense for obvious reasons. Maybe the foreign interests in the respective regions makes sense, but little about the geographical split passes the bullshit test. Lets see, South Carolina and Vermont in holy unity? Ozark rednecks and Montana militia-men under the thumb of liberal Canada? Polygamist crazies in Southwest Utah hangin' with the one-child havin' Chinese? How did this guy come up with this shit?

"When I pushed the button on my computer and the map of the United States disintegrated, hundreds of people cried out in surprise," he remembers. He says most in the audience were skeptical. "They didn't believe me."

Didn't believe you??? Nooooo, your analysis seems so rational.

Seriously, what's this Ruskie been drinking?

Ah, should have known. If only he would avoid the cheap vodka, then his conspiracy theories would be limited to the Reconquista.

NOOOOOOO!!!!!1!!!!

2008-12-03T07:26:00.000-08:00

This must be stopped.

No more can we permit a national forum for this right wing governor, beholden to the ideology that has given us two unwinnable wars, plundered our treasury, shat on the Constitution, and destroyed our economy.

No, I'm not talking about Caribou Barbie.

I'm talking about....

Duh Duh Duh DUUHHHH (<- you should hum some ominous music here)

Bush is back! Well, maybe. And not Georgie, its the favorite son, Jeb. And not til 2010. And just in Florida. But c'mon, its a Bush, people! Ain't that enough to piss you off?

You know Jeb, the one who's name more aptly belongs to the learning-impaired older brother. The one that Poppy Bush cried about in 06, after the oldest son screwed the pooch for any hopes of continuing the Bush Dynasty. Sorry, too late...no do-overs Poppy. You let the sadist son, placed at a young age under the wing of the exceedingly cold Babs, take first reins at the White House. You should have known it would fuck up any hope of furthering Jeb's dreams of presidential power. Your other sons are criminals and war profiteers that have never held elective office, the grandchildren are barely beyond their wild drinkin'-n-drinkin'-n-druggin' days, so really Jeb is the only option in the near future.

So do you really think Americans are willing to see another Bush in power? After all that Georgie has fucked up and how absolutely hated he is by the American public? Well, we're the same public that elected Poppy and allowed the Supremes to appoint Junior, even after it was known their family fortune was made with the fucking Nazis. Yeah, seriously, even Fox "News" says so. So I guess that answers my question....any voting populace willing to consider a spawn of a Hitler-financier will be willing to elect the brother of the worst fucking president ever. My Obama-inspired hope is waning by the second. :(

Keep it up.

2008-11-21T16:06:00.000-08:00

Yes we did.

"Keep it up."

That was the invocation of serial misinformer John Fund this election season. When Fund isn't trotting downstairs in a bathrobe smoking stogies with Grover Norquist (also robed) after being away with said muppet-named hater-of-taxes for several hours in a secret upstairs bedroom, he's engaging in devious ass-hattery. The latter was on display a couple months back on Real Time. This was an especially good episode, wherein Janeane Garofalo was having none of the shit-peddling. She called him on all his lies, which were copious and unrelenting, which caused the show to devolve into a constant calling-him-on-his-bullshit by Garofalo. Here's a piece of the episode showing Maher piling on.

Hear it at 0:15? Fund was smugly crying "Keep it up, Bill" all fucking episode long. His "point" was that accurately identifying Sarah Palin as a fucking idiot would turn off all the other fucking idiots in this country. The offended would then cast their lot in with candidate Fucking Idiot on November 4. How'd that turn out, John??? Not real good, or at least that's wut the teevee tole me on the 5th.

Cynical elitist asshole. "Keep it up" was what liberals and conservatives did whenever some Republican cynic like Fund tried to defend her dumbass answers to simple questions and her obvious lack of basic knowledge. This time, the truth worked. And cynical assholes not only lost the election, but lost any remnant of credibility they had. And Sarah Palin lost too.

Moral of the story...when Republicans tell you to "keep it up", do it. They project all the fucking time and attempt to play reverse psychology. All you need to know about the extreme right wing of the Republican party (also known as the Republican party) are two things.

1) They project their own fears and faults onto everyone else.

2) Nearly every position or opinion is based out of fear.

Everyone Hates What I Like

2008-11-13T10:19:00.001-08:00

Either the above is true, or the merger of XM and Sirius was orchestrated by evil fucks.

Recently, the two music channels worth listening to are G O N E gone. Y day alwayz b fucking wit my shit, yo? Is it because he hate me? Or is it because I have shitty taste in music? No, it can't be that, so it must be a sinister conspiracy to rid satellite radio of kick-ass tune-age.

A couple years back, when I first acquired XM radio for my hooptie, I instantly fell in love with channel 51, XM Music Lab. The atonal squinks and noises spewed out by the Bartok-inspired instrumentalists were a much needed salve to the FM world of non-stop AC-DC, ZZ Top, and Bob Fucking Segar. But not one month into my subscription, the corporate fucks at XM takes it off air and replaces it with....nothing. Apparently, static noise is preferable to most folks than the shit I like.

But fine, I still had XM 72 Beyond Jazz and XM 76 Fine Tuning. The former played MoJa, acid jazz, killer improvisational bands, and live shit. Great stuff that expanded my musical tastes. The latter provided a forum to hear the occasional old Genesis song, Celtic music, and other eclectic crap. When they played Roxy Music and Brian Ferry started singing, my failure to turn the dial did not make me gay at all. I've been told that the Gipsy Kings could have that effect, so I was quick to change the channel should I hear flamenco music and cante jando.

So with the merger of Sirius and XM, I thought, surely, I would get MORE choices of odd music to soothe my paint-addled brain. I should have known better, because Teddy Roosevelt and his spirit are both dead. The Reagan Revolution made sure of that.

So what's the first thing they do? Get rid of both XM 72 and 76. Assholes!!!! Got an email about the changes and a link to the new line-up. Here's what they said:

"If you liked XM 72, you may like XM70 Real Jazz and XM 71 Watercolors!!"

Old timey jazz is fine if you like watching paint dry....I actually enjoy the standards, but only if I get to huff the paint while its still in its moist state. Since I can't huff and drive (got too many DUH's in my day), XM 70 is not an option. As for XM 71, I get enough lite-jazz while watching the Weather Channel. Seriously, every Wayman Tisdale tune makes me chant "Currently, its 52 degrees, under partly cloudy skies!!" in a neo-Stephen Hawking voice. I can get plenty of George Benson on V-100 while the churchies are busy each Sunday morning, so I don't need more of it on my XM.

As for the other channel I liked, here's what the XM/Sirius assholes had to say:

"If you liked XM 76, well....you're just fucked...besides, you're probably gay considering you listen to eclectic tripe and, by law, we can still discriminate against your kind."

Best thing they offer now is XM 56 Jam Bands. However, it will only take me one week to hear the entire discography of Phish and Government Mule. Grateful Dead encompass all of XM 57, so there's no one else to fill up the jam band line-up. Oh wait, there's Dave Matthews Band....can't get enough falsetto singers on the radio, we need more John Mayers and Coldplays. Which reminds me, XM gave a whole fucking station to Coldplay a few months back...XM 51, in fact. Way to rub it in, boys. And did I mention XM 53 is now AC/DC radio?!?!?!

ARRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!

XM, how you mock me!!!!!!!

All Your Base Are Belong To Us

2008-11-11T13:39:00.000-08:00

Landslide

2008-11-05T06:30:00.000-08:00

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Well, I've been afraid of changing
cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too

Oh, take my love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring it down

If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well maybe the landslide will bring it down

Couldn't wuss out on this one

2008-11-04T16:34:00.002-08:00

Couldn't resist.....ELECTION TIME!!!!!!!

Ok, probably wouldn't be writing had the news not showed some promising numbers (aside from expected reports of voting problems)

Indiana is showing promise. Many more counties, especially in the center of the state, going blue compared to 00 and 04.

A good site to graphically compare against what the news programs are showing.

Some numbers from 538.

Just looking at some of the places where we have results in so far. Obama is substantially outperforming Kerry -- which is what he needs to do to win the state, of course, but the differences are pretty substantial.

Steuben: Kerry 34%, Obama 42%
DeKalb: Kerry 31%, Obama 38%
Knox: Kerry 36%, Obama 54%
Marshall: Kerry 31%, Obama 50%

UPDATE

Didn't look as promising in KY. Not that Obama didn't win. But he lost a lot of counties in the eastern side (the side closest to WV) compared to what Kerry got in 04. Ick, sounds like the racists have spoken.

Florida, however, is rocking Obama, with more red counties turning blue around the St. Pete and south-central counties. Plus, the blue counties in 04 are staying that way. Sweeeet.

UPDATE

Virginia....losing counties in SW Va, bordering KY...gaining counties in the NOVA area. The counties Obama is getting are much higher in population than the others. Truly, a shift in the electoral map, even beyond macroscopic levels shown in the state by state results.

UPDATE

WV....Kanawha and Randolph flipped to Obama. Mingo flipped to red...sorry SamC, guess the "Mingoloids" are on your side this time...hehe. Also got Raleigh (Beckley) and Monongahalia (Morgantown). These counties have colleges (Mtn State, WVU), as do Kanawha (UC, WVState) and Randolph (Davis Elkins). Maybe had an impact.

Ooops, Raleigh flipped back to red, but Boone stayed blue. One chink in the college hypothesis.

UPDATE

Montgomery Co in Virginia flipped to Obama...home of VT...maybe this college hypothesis is moving up to theory territory. But WV counties I mentioned earlier are changing....hmmm, I should just fucking wait a bit. All these maps and colors have gotten me to nerd out too much.

UPDATE!!

Obama closing in on VA....more in, O at 49, Mc at 50.....more movement and this whole fucking thing is ovah!!!!!!!!!

As for Florida, it has tightened w/ O at 51 and Mc at 49. One blue county in the panhandle has not yet gone online, two red counties near AL also not yet in. Could flip....as long as VA goes Obama, I'm fine w/ that...although I would love to have a lot of breathing room...talking landslide.

In WV, saw that Wyoming County flipped to blue from 4 years ago. I wonder if some huffing patriot went down there and called 20 people about a month ago to help win that county :) .....Not so fast :(

Ooooh, Ohio and New Mexico FO-Bama!!! Fuck yeah!!!!

UPDATE

Crap, McConnell held on.....so much for 60. Hope Chambliss doesn't reach 50% or Martin somehow pulls it off....would go to a runoff in Dec if the former happened. Also, lets go Franken, the only New York jew in that Senate race who's actually from Minnesota.

The Senate is looking like the moderate Repubs are getting destroyed. Just leaves the Republican party more extreme, which isn't good for anybody.

On the House side, things are a bit more hopeful in ridding away the nutjobs. On the chopping block are Hayes in NC, Bachman in MN, and Musgrave in CO. If those 3 plus Mean Jean Schmidt in OH loses, I will not huff a single can of Krylon for the next fortnight.

UPDATE

Close close close to results in VA, NC, and IN...and I think Obama has got them. Well, maybe not IN, but that state is fucking close. NC down to Wilson and Franklin counties, which went red in 04. But they were more pink than red, so even if there's a Republican win there, it may not be big enough to break the margin Obama has right now.

538 and HDNet calling it for Obama...the whole shebang.

Might call it in and go to sleep with these nice feelings. And resist the urge to wake up at 1 a.m., because if there's a repeat of 2000 with states flipping after being called, I would at least like to get in a nice night of sleep.

A Friendly Reminder

2008-11-02T06:14:00.000-08:00

In case you've forgotten, for about 3 more months, George W. Bush is still our president.

And he's still a cocksucker.

Bush launches last-minute deregulation push

The White House is working to enact a wide array of federal regulations, many of which would weaken government rules aimed at protecting consumers and the environment, before President Bush leaves office in January.
The new rules would be among the most controversial deregulatory steps of the Bush era and could be difficult for his successor to undo. Some would ease or lift constraints on private industry, including power plants, mines and farms.

More shit and crap that Bush is attempting to shove down our throats.

Yes, because that's EXACTLY what the public has been clamoring for....more tainted products from China, more MTBE in our drinking water, more airborne particulates from our power plants, and more fucking global warming. Boy, when Bush says he doesn't look at the polls, I almost believe him. Until I remember that he's an evil sadist that does look at polls and does the opposite because he is 1) evil and 2) a sadist.

And to all those Bush apologists who would say "he's a lame duck, Obama will reverse course with a stroke of a pen", here's to you dipshits.....

Once such rules take effect, they typically can be undone only through a laborious new regulatory proceeding, including lengthy periods of public comment, drafting and mandated reanalysis.

So, in addition to ending the war in Iraq, implementing new strategies in Afganistan, providing health care for all, re-regulating Wall Street, fixing the financial mess, restoring our standing in the world, closing Gitmo, combating global warming, repairing our infrastructure, creating a green economy, funding technologies that will allow us to lead in alternative energy, he'll also have to undo all the dictatorial shit that Bush has employed for eight fucking years. And Bush is just adding to the pile that is already overloaded with his scrapping of the 4th amendment, precedence-creating signing statements, administrative rules, executive fiats, etc.

THIS is why everyone hates Bush. Not just because he's a lying asshole. Its because he's a fascist, so sayeth my homey FDR.

The first truth is that the liberty of a democracy is not safe if the people tolerate the growth of private power to a point where it becomes stronger than their democratic state itself. That, in its essence, is fascism—ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power.

Update to Joe the Senator

2008-10-27T13:44:00.000-07:00

crystal dawn said...

OH MY GAWD, I see arroz out there in the audience!! That is friggin heh-lah-rious! I just spit beer all over the screen. now i cant see how i tipe.

October 24, 2008 2:27 PM

Well, thanks a fucking bunch, Crystal Dawn. You've ruined my anonymity, although I was not on screen where you thought you saw me. I was in a super secret location that was recently revealed on This Is Not My Blog. However, his pictures were from a cell phone and required much digital manipulation to reveal my exact location. Here I can be seen in my full, paint-huffing glory on the 2nd floor of the book depository.

Joe's in the News

2008-10-24T10:32:00.001-07:00

Joe the Senator

Chiz-ecked out the future VP in Chucktown 2day. Wuz off da hook yo. Never been to a political rally before, and was a little concerned that wouldn't get through the detectors with my aluminum spray can. Decided to leave the can and enjoy the speeches without entering altered states. Had a primo view of Biden's backside, so here's a clip of what I did not see.

Be proud of my state, we're going Obama, you watch.

"Joe" the "Plumber"

Yeah, his 15 minutes are about up and the story has been beaten to death, but the guy just irks the hell out of me and I wanted to add my 2 cents. The story went that there's a guy named Joe who's a plumber who wants to buy his bosses company that is worth more than 250k, but he's not sure if he can because Obama will raise his taxes. Turns out he's no where near making enough to buy such a company, even though the company is only worth 100k, that he actually is delinquent on his taxes, that he's not a plumber, and that his first name is not even Joe. I guess Sam the Plumber didn't have a good enough ring. Sam is a butcher or a ex-jock bartender, or so says Nick at Nite.

After an hour of vetting by the media, this guy should have went away. But the right wing was CERTAIN that they had their star, their game changer, and clung to him like grim death. "Joe", or Sam, or whatever the fuck his real name was, loooooved the attention, regardless of the joke he'd become to rational humans. Joe still makes the rounds on Hannity and Huckabee, but he mainly lives on through the incessant invocations of "FirstName" the "Occupation" by the McFalin camp. Its sooo fucking tiring....Arroz the Huffer has just about had enough.

Joe the Asshole

Oooh, this is classic. This Joe in Northern Virginia, or the "commie" part of Virginia, is stuck in traffic an annoyed. There's heavy traffic on his route, but the opposite direction is clear. How the fuck could that be? I mean, there couldn't be an accident or road work or more congestion for one direction.....the same conditions just HAVE to be present on both sides of the road. This is enough for this average Joe to make a call....to 911. To bitch about the traffic. The operator is annoyed, so Joe finally says "fuck you" and hangs up. Then they call back and find out its Joe McCain, brother of John McCain, and the guy who recently made the "commie" reference about NOVA. They leave a message on his cell, after which Joe actually has the balls to call back. Its as if he thinks he's got no worries, his bro is going to be president (apparently, he doesn't check the polls). Here's a humorous news clip from a local station.

"Jo" the Bullshitter

K, her name's not Jo, not even close, but felt this wacko was worth blawging about. The right wing media has been in a tizzy about this innocent college girl that was attacked by a black man for sporting McCain/Palin gear on her hooptie. Turns out, its bullshit at best and race baiting at worst. Smoking Gun has some info on her "foreshadowing" of the "events" that led to her "mugging". YouTube shows past videos from this nutcase where she imagined that a black janitor was stealing her Crayola'd objet d'art. Some have surmised that the backwards B on her face is a result of her carving it herself in front of a mirror. Fox News' VP predicts that if this story turns out to be bullshit that it will sink McCain's campaign. Yeah, like its been going swimmingly for McFalin the past few weeks. Well, the Pittsburgh poh-leece have already declared it bullshit, so does that mean its over now? Seriously, my ulcers are raging and only a proper end to this election or a 20 point nationwide lead for Obama will heal my pain.

A Sliver of Hope

2008-10-23T13:35:00.000-07:00

Caught a sight today that gave me some hope that Obama can pull this out.

Was on my semi-biweekly trip to stock up on huffing supplies and noticed quite a few Obama bumper stickers. Of course, I was downtown and the majority of these stickers were on midsize SUV's and upscale sedans, so I thought nothing of it.

Shortly after noon, after being thrown out of the Glidden store (again :( ), I was making my way cross town to the nearest Sherwin-Williams. They have a new manager there who does not (yet) know me. Having a spare can of mineral spirits in my glove compartment, I was able to wipe away any latent gold splatter from my roughly-trimmed mangina. With those facts in mind, I was confident in my ability to secure my much needed OTC. That, and the next sight, were enough to lift my spirits enough to (briefly) think that I could do without today's Krylon fix.

That sight was at an intersection where I had halted to turn left. On my right came a red pickup truck with a Confederate Flag in the front license plate holder and a burly bearded man at the wheel. Surely, I thought, the rear bumper of this truck would be the polar opposite than what I viewed on the aforementioned Obama cars. Surely, this "redneck" would be displaying a McCain/Palin (or McFalin, as I like to refer to them) on his bumper.

As the truck passed in front of my, my eyes followed and saw a Union sticker on the rear window, then immediately, Obama stickers on the rear bumper. Quite a shock considering the display of southern "heritage" on the front. So I got to thinking....if this southern "redneck", proudly displaying the flag of the confederacy, was willing to not only vote for Obama but to support him with an equally prominent campaign sticker, then perhaps this state isn't as backwoods as the media would like to portray us. Perhaps even the whitest of white rednecks are willing to support a black man for President. Maybe this was a one in a million anecdote, but maybe not. Maybe we are turning the corner into a post-racial Amurika. Maybe (hopefully) four to eight years of watching a black family in the White House, even the redneckiest among us can put aside our biases and accept people for the content of their character and not the color of their skin. And I got to thinking....

Why delude my brain more with paint-induced hallucinations that obscure the reality of our racist Republican dominated country?

Why not quit this cruel elixir and embark on a new journey, inspired by the promise of hope, unity, and change that an Obama presidency would bring?

Ah, fuck it.....Krylon, I can't quit you babe.

Fannie and Freddie

2008-10-08T06:28:00.001-07:00

Why are Republicans in a tizzy about Fannie and Freddie?

Because they feel this is the strongest tie of some Democrats to the current financial crisis. Take McCain's latest barb at the debates.

McCain said that government-sponsored mortgage lenders Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac "were the catalyst, the match that started this forest fire" in the economy and that he had "stood up" to them.

Of course, he overstates the case because a lot of Dems got money from these groups. McCain doesn't mention Countrywide or any other mortgage giants who were into the subprime game WAY before Fannie and Freddie. Fannie and Freddie were losing market share to other firms who plunged ahead more recklessly.

And McCain playing up his role in warning about Fannie and Freddie are overplayed. For one, it was Chuck Hagel who sponsored the bill and McCain came to the game a year later.

In a May 26, 2006, news release, McCain said: "If Congress does not act, American taxpayers will continue to be exposed to the enormous risk that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac pose to the housing market, the overall financial system, and the economy as a whole." But PolitiFact.org said those problems had nothing to do with the subprime mortgage loans that triggered the current crisis.

More evidence that Fannie and Freddie were not the catalysts in this crisis and were actually a relatively small part of the problem.

Fannie and Freddie did not guarantee and securitize substantial quantities of subprime loans. They had more Alt-A loans but these were still a relatively small portion of their overall business. In fact, as the subprime market was building, Fannie and Freddie lost market share because they weren't participating. Their involvement in the secondary market was far from the driving force in the creation of the subprime market.

It’s true, however, that Fannie and Freddie were damaged by the subprime crisis because everyone in the housing sector was damaged by falling home prices and, more significantly, the two companies branched out into a broader investment portfolio. In that portfolio were included mortgage-backed securities that hurt all of those who purchased them. Fannie and Freddie weren’t the biggest players in this and, most importantly, started this practice very late in the game. In fact, the subprime market had already started to go bad when they started their purchases (which speaks poorly for Fannie and Freddie’s decision making, but precludes them from responsibility for the crisis).

Fannie and Freddie were supposed to be more closely supervised than other lenders—with their own regulator, which was supposed to keep a special eye on them because they are important institutions. Those regulators, who were part of the Bush administration, failed along with the rest of the Bush regulatory apparatus to stop the problem.

I'm not excusing Democrats who resisted regulation of these companies given their financial ties. But to ignore Republican responsibility and their basic ideology of DEREGULATION would make one as ignorant as a Fox News "journalist". No David Assman, this is not Barney Frank's fault because he fucked a Fannie exec in 1988. Ha! I even made myself laugh at that one...fucked a Fannie...laugh out loud.

My Hope for Tonight

2008-10-02T08:05:00.001-07:00

Can we please see something like this happen at, say, 9:13 p.m.???

What the fuck are we gonna do??//!?!1?!?1!?/!

2008-09-30T06:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Campaign Supporters,

We need action.

We need bold, decisive action.

We need a bold, decisive leader who does not blink, regardless of low humidity and air-borne particulates.

We need Sarah Palin.

Who better to solve the financial crisis than the woman who single-handedly reformed corruption-ridden Alaska. Nevermind that she campaigned with the recently-indicted Ted Stevens, served as head of his PAC, and refuses to call for him to step down. Nevermind she's got her own corruption issues and ethical lapses. Those are pesky things called "facts" that must be disregarded in a crisis. Remember, no blinking.

We need a real reformer, and who better to choose than someone who says the word reform ten times in a fucking sentence. You want to talk about reform, she has reformed the way questions are answered. You ask her about foreign policy, she replies that GodzillaPutin rears his head and flies to Alaska (except that he doesn't). You ask her about the bailout plan, she says its all about health care reform and talks about 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector. You say you can't end a sentence with a preposition, she says "fuck that, Alaska IS the state that I am the executive of!!!". Very mavericky, like John McCain. Did you know that John McCain was known as The Maverick TM? Neither did I.

So in the interest of saving our credit and financial industry, and preventing another Wall Street collapse, we need to call on this highly capable individual to roll up her sleeves and solve this problem for us. We'll give her all the time she needs.

What's that, its gonna take at least 3 days???? Well, the debate is on Thursday. No way to solve it before then, guess we're just gonna have to cancel it.

I know, I know, we all were hoping to get the chance to see this fine woman kick names and take asses in the debate. Because everyone knows she'd do swimmingly. But the stakes are too high, the crisis is too deep, and the need to reform is too urgent.

So lets call on Palin and Biden to agree to cancel their debate this Thursday. Lets put country first. Its not like the public needs to see Mrs. Palin answer questions, she's done that already. She took on and destroyed the three heavyweights of American media....Charlie, Sean, and Katie (Larry King was unavailable). She also took four spontaneous questions from print journalists last week and answered at least two of those questions. She also let the media film her talking to foreign leaders for at least 29 seconds. What more do we need?? Nothing, in my humble opinion. We've seen enough, this woman is clearly ready to lead, so lets get her to Capitol Hill pronto and cancel this fucking debate as quickly as possible.

Sincerely,

Rick Davis
Campaign Manager
McCain/Palin 08

Bailout Plans

2008-09-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

Seems the bailout plan has failed. Forget the political implications, as there were large contingents of both parties in the House that killed this. Right now, its impossible to know how the fallout will affect Obama and McCain...which is why both refused to answer the 1st question of the debate. Hopefully, a new and better plan can be hatched out, one with more emphasis on putting people back in their houses and more certain ways of paying for it.

One point that should be raised more forcefully is getting the banks to renegotiate with people that have been foreclosed on. Instead of dumping tax money to buy off bad loans that are worth 20-25% of their former value, make the banks and homeowners go to the courts to renegotiate at 50, 60, or 75% of the value. Or do a tiered structure that rates the loans...some may still be worth 20 cents on the dollar, but others may get a better return.

The second point is to place a small tax on derivatives that would let Wall Street pay this fucker off. Thom Hartmann has an excellent article that you can check out here or here. From the article....

For example, if we were to instate a .25 percent STET (tax) on every stock, swap, derivitive, or other trade today, it would produce - in its first year - around $150 billion in revenue. Wall Street would be generating the money to fund its own bailout.

This tax would also...

have the effect of "mitigating the predominance of speculation over enterprise."

And from the "those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it" file...

When rules limiting speculation were cut during the first big Republican deregulation binge during the administrations of Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge, and Herbert Hoover (1921-1933), it created a speculative fever that led directly to the housing bubble of the early 20s (which started in Florida, where property values were going up as much as 70 percent per year, and then spread nationwide, only to burst nationally starting in 1927 as housing values began to collapse), then the falling housing market popped the stock market bubble and produced the great stock market crash of 1929. That speculation aggregated enormous wealth in a very few hands, crashed the housing and stock markets, and produced the Republican Great Depression of 1930-1942.

Franklin D. Roosevelt, as part of the New Deal, put into place a series of rules to discourage speculation and promote investment, including maintaining - and doubling - the Securities Transaction Excise Tax. Other countries followed our lead, and the UK, France, Japan, Germany, Italy, Greece, Australia, France, China, Chile, Malaysia, India, Austria, and Belgium have all had or have STETs.

How's this for a plan? Lets go the FDR route and re-regulate Wall Street BEFORE the crash occurs. Its not like this shit hasn't happened before.

My Debate Wet Dream

2008-09-26T07:42:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been reading Eric Altermans "Why We're Liberals". In his conclusions, he argues against eschewing the term LIBERAL, which has been made into some kind of a slander given 30+ years of negative framing by the right wing. Alterman states that instead of accepting that liberal is a dirty word, ala Dukakis, Gore, and Kerry (all failed efforts at the presidency), the left should embrace the word. We must not accept the right's lies and defamation, as they will certainly engage in a campaign against "progressives". Well, they already have, as Bill O'Reilly is well into a phony war against the made-up group "secular-progressives" (or SP's....you know, the one's that are trying to steal Christmas ;)).

One need only be reminded of JFK's answer to the "liberal" charge in his 1960 presidential campaign (BTW, he won the presidency, unlike Dukakis, Gore, and Kerry). Essentially, he stated that if by liberal you meant wasting taxpayer money, elitism, weakness indifference to moral concerns, then he is not that kind of liberal. But if liberalism refers to care for the general welfare, continual efforts to lift people out of poverty, social justice, racial equality, care for the environment, diplomacy and moderation in foreign policy, then yes, I am that kind of liberal.

In the upcoming presidential debates, if McCain's got the nutsac to show up, the Republican will undoubtedly use the "liberal" charge, as if it was somehow an actual insult. Obama cannot run away from it, he must embrace it and define it. Don't let these Republi-fuckers define us or turn a political ideology into a cuss word. If Obama embraces the liberal "charge" instead of running away from it, then that'd be kewl.

But that's not my debate wet dream.

No, my dream involves, other than McCain actually showing up, Obama figuratively bitch-slapping McCain with the septegenarian slinking away. Goes a lil suh-en like dis....

___________________________

McCain: "uh, my frendj,..that's not change we can believe in. (heehh)"

Obama: "Wait!! Hold the fuckin bullshit right there...."

Obama: "Change! You want to talk Change!! What about the change that's in my wallet. The CHANGE you and your friends in big business took from us. Now, what's gonna happen now is that you are going to quickly and quietly reach in that satchel of yours and give my back my wallet. Then you and your theiving friends are going to give back the change you stole from everyone in this country. If you do that, then I will let you leave without having to feel my wrath and you and your 'lady' can go back to one of the many homes you own."

(long pause)

McCain: "uh,.. which one is yours?"

Obama: "The one that says Bad Mother Fucker on it!"

McCain: " (heehh) here ya go "

Obama: "Thank you. Now get your bitch-ass outta here before I CHANGE my mind and stick this thumb up your ass!"

McCain: "Lets go honey bunny."

Palin fix, 9/24/08

2008-09-24T13:30:00.000-07:00

Good. Fucking. Article.

When Atheists Attack

We have all now witnessed apparently sentient human beings, once provoked by a reporter's microphone, saying things like, "I'm voting for Sarah because she's a mom. She knows what it's like to be a mom." Such sentiments suggest an uncanny (and, one fears, especially American) detachment from the real problems
of today. The next administration must immediately confront issues like nuclearproliferation, ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (and covert wars elsewhere),global climate change, a convulsing economy, Russian belligerence, the rise ofChina, emerging epidemics, Islamism on a hundred fronts, a defunct United
Nations, the deterioration of American schools, failures of energy,infrastructure and Internet security … the list is long, and Sarah Palin doesnot seem competent even to rank these items in order of importance, much less address any one of them.
.............
What is so unnerving about the candidacy of Sarah Palin is the degree to which she represents—and her supporters celebrate—the joyful marriage of confidence and ignorance. Watching her deny to Gibson that she had ever harbored the slightest doubt about her readiness to take command of the world's only superpower, one got the feeling that Palin would gladly assume any responsibility on earth:

"Governor Palin, are you ready at this moment to perform surgery on this child's brain?"
"Of course, Charlie. I have several boys of my own, and I'm an avid hunter."
"But governor, this is neurosurgery, and you have no training as a surgeon of any kind."
"That's just the point, Charlie. The American people want change in how we make medical decisions in this country. And when faced with a challenge, you cannot blink."
The prospects of a Palin administration are far more frightening, in fact, than those of a Palin Institute for Pediatric Neurosurgery.
............

McCain is WEAK, fool...

2008-09-24T12:54:00.000-07:00

Why is everyone's shit in a bunch? "the race is close!" "they are going to steal it!!" "my ass is on fire" Well, other than you needing to quit eating Taco Shit TM, you need to recognize one critical thing.....

McCain is WEAK!!

He reacts out of fear,
he does not look comfortable,
he talks out both sides of his mouth,
he's too afraid to talk to the press,
he won't let his VP talk to anyone (even Charlie destroyed her),

Latest news is that he wants to delay the debate to "concentrate" on the economy. They're playing up the "Obama initiated talks on doing a joint statement", so McCain goes for the political move of attempting to appear concerned with the economy. Mofo, you helped create it with your fraternity of lobbyists and former-senators who became lobbyists. These assholes deregulated these laws across the financial industry, they knew it was going to happen, then they situate themselves to benefit the greatest off the calamity. Phil Gramm the Senator writes the law to repeal Glass-Steagall, Phil Gramm gets his Republican buddies like McCain to vote for the law, Phil Gramm leaves to become lobbyist for UBS,.....only thing left for Phil Gramm to do is to charge a consulting fee from the government to tell us what to do with the $700 trillion his allies decided (by fiat) to impose on the taxpayers without ability to question or analyze.

Fucker. Weak Fucker.

This is weakness. Acquiescing to weakness would be a mistake in my opinion. Obama, do not grant this. You are smart enough politically to show your strength and calmness while exposing his weakness and stammering. Which is why he doesn't want to appear on stage with you this close to the financial bailout. Let US see you and him on stage NOW debating this issue. Let the American people IN on this decision, do not let them force through this bailout before WE get to hear what the fuck exactly is being rammed down our throats.

___________________________________
Critical DISCLAIMER!!!! Look here! Look here!!

McCain is a war hero. He withstood horrors that no man deserves. Doesn't mean you can't criticize. Republicans, you know I love you *cough*, but you are risking running that well dry.
"What do you mean I'm a pathological liar who can't keep his shit straight?!?!?! I had to shit straight into a bucket for 5 and 1/2 years in a prisoner camp. I think I've earned the right to shit crooked, you anti-American cocksucker!!!!!"
____________________________________

URGENT, breaking news!!!

Obama likely to keep debate as McCain seeks delay

"America....Fuck Yeah!!!!"

Keys to Winning

2008-09-15T12:50:00.000-07:00

Some unsolicited advice to the Obama campaign because I KNOW they are reading this blawg faithfully.

1) Go NEGATIVE - Stay truthful and on point (i.e. McCain = Bush, Repubs wrecked the economy, Iraq, etc). Republicans don't know how to govern, but they know how to win campaigns. And how do they do that? They go NEGATIVE. Granted, the Republicans lie through their fucking teeth, but negativism works. That's how people got it into their noggins that Gore was a serial liar, Kerry shot himself in Vietnam, and James K Polk liked to drip hot candle wax on his nut sac. Seriously, the campaigns of the 1800's were WAY more wild than we have today. But we don't have to do that because the truth is on our side. There is so much f'd up crap that can be laid squarely at the feet of the Republican machine. And it doesn't have to be explained much...the peeps already get it.

And thankfully, the Obama campaign has decided to retroactively take my advice. They waited a mere 4 days before I went on record with this advice, and I cannot forgive them for failing to invest in the "7 day crystal ball"TM. They should have known earlier that an unknown paint huffing blawger would request that they go negative. Alas, it is not totally their fault for waiting so long....I am clearly the only one making this suggestion.....

2) Portray McCain as weak and fearful. This is a corollary to the first as McCain has acted out of fear. Fear is the reason he chose a woefully inadequate and unprepared VP, the reason he went so quickly to smears and lies, etc. Republicans are, by and large, full of fear. The only thing they have....is fear itself. Its the basis of all their ideology and the root cause of their turn toward authoritarianism. The fearful are easily led...why else would they so quickly champion a former mayor of the meth'n'rape-capitol of Alaska who serially lies about her *cough* accomplishments.

Portray him as fearful and weak by focusing on the facts that prove him to be. Americans want a cool, confident president who won't be tricked or cajoled into WWIII...and that is clearly Obama, as he will prove in the debates. The guy handles everything so well and calmly...look how he managed O'Reilly. He didn't need to stall when he got a question, he delved right into it, and totally disarmed O'Reilly.

Compare that to Palin who tried to hide her ignorance with beauty pageant delay tactics and faux friendliness. "In what respect, Charlie?" Gibsons should have followed up with "with respect to the doctrine that Bush has stated on numerous occasions that a foreign policy expert like you, with a view of Russia, should easily be able to answer...that is, unless you are a stealth candidate who has no real business being in this race" Jaysus Fucking KaRiest, this is what passes for a Republican VP candidate? Miss South Carolina anyone? She didn't just use a beauty pageant tactic, she was a borderline Spelling Bee contestant on that one....she was fishing for clues. "In what respect, Charlie?" "Use 'Bush Doctrine' in a sentence, Charlie." "What's the country of origin, Charlie?" Fucking amateur.

Which leads me to...

3) Forget Palin. I know, I know, its hard work. She's comedy gold, I tell ya. But that's exactly what the Republicans want!!! They WANT us to ignore McCain. They WANT to dominate the news cycle. Make this campaign what it should be about....

Obama v. McCain
Obama's clear-headed judgement v. McCain's wild temper
Obama's policy that's preferred by 70% of Americans v. McCains policy (preferred only by end-timers, corporate CEO's, fetuses, the bat-shit insane, and 1 out of 10 dentists)

4) Court Libertarians and other Republicans who are too ashamed to admit they are Republican and/or voted for that dipshit Bush. Word is that Ron Paul (sorry Libertarians, Dr. Ron Paul) might be the running mate of equally batshit crazy Bob Barr. Not to malign the batshit crazy, but these yahoos want to turn everything private, including roads, schools, and sewers. They obviously have more than 2 brain cells working as they realize that the Bush Administration have nothing but contempt for Democracy and the Constitution. They also realize that the Iraq War is illegal, immoral, and nothing but wealth distribution. They also believe in individual freedom, something that runs opposed to warrantless wiretapping, torture, and the War on Drugs.

But whatever their motivation, realize that Libertarians are opposed to McCain and especially that end-timer Palin. Polls and primary results have them courting SIGNIFICANT portions of the Republican electorate. Portions that dwarf those of Nader in 2000 and 2004...you know, the guy that liberals blamed for costing Gore the election, nevermind that it was, uh, fucking stolen in a dozen ways (I never excused liberals from being stubborn and wrong) No, the Libertarians will not support Obama...they dislike liberal policies, and some are as racist as the lock-step Republicans (look at some of Dr. Ron Paul's old newsletters). But that doesn't mean they can't vote for their own dipshit. So ENCOURAGE those dipshits to enter the process and don't demean 3rd party candidacies, even when they appear on your own turf. Remember, you can try to blame Nader for Florida in 2000, but you forget that Buchanan's vote totals in New Mexico and Iowa exceeded Gore's margin that same year, which would have rendered Florida moot.

The Experience Gap

2008-08-30T08:06:00.001-07:00

To use a football metaphor, McCain just threw a hail mary...and it fell 25 yards short of the end zone. That's what happens when your still 80 yards away from the end zone, it was 4th and 5, he should have gone with the safe play to the running back in the flat. That way he'd have a new set of downs. As it is the RNC will be complete fiction, a propaganda fest whose only purpose is to convince they're 30% base that they still have a shot.

Sorry, they shot their wad on this one. An end-timer hockey mom with home-schooled kids, not exactly the experience needed to be one palpatating, 72 year old heart from the presidency. Hate to be crude, but it appears that her main goal in life has been to a professional uterus, which is fine, except she gave them all HORRIBLE names. And I am not kidding, the names are as follows: Track (oldest son), Bristol (girl), Willow (girl), Piper (girl), and the latest son, Trig Paxson Van Palin. (Van Palin used to be kewl, I wasn't down with the Van Hagar). What kind of judgement is that? Destining your kids for ridicule in school....oh...that's right...home school. Then, what the fuck....why not name them Tagg....what's that?....Mitt Romney's son is named Tagg? Well, then, the Republicans have some serious naming issues.

But back to the title of this blawg post, experience. Found an interesting timeline on DU.

Obama's record beats the PANTS off this woman. Just look at the education experience. Phd in law from fucking Harvard versus BS degree in journalism at Idaho U. What passes for journalism in Idaho? "Potatoes gonna be harvested soon...back to you Bob."

As for her gubenatorial "experience", from Wikipedia:

Annual sessions begin in January and are limited by statute to 90 calendar days.
Special sessions of 30 calendar days may be convened by a consensus of two-thirds of the each house. In the 2006 elections, a voter initiative was passed that reduced the statutory length of the session to 90 days. The 2008 session was the first 90 day session. Although the session adjourned on time, some members of the legislature claimed that legislation was rushed and public input was jeopardized.

90 days a year!!! Are they really going with the line that Obama has less or equivalent experience here? They like to trot out the 130 present votes Obama had after 8 years in the Illinois legislature. Out of how many though? And McCain has been the most absent Senator BY FAR for atleast TWO (2) years.

As for what her fellow Republicans in the AK state legislature think, lets ask State Senate President Lyda Green:

"She's not prepared to be governor. How can she be prepared to be vice president or president?"

Maybe that's why she laughed and giggled when some right wing talk radio nuts called Ms. Green a "bitch" and a "cancer". Oh, Ms. Green survived cancer. Palin laughs, giggles, and says it'd be an honor to have these two right wing nutjobs. Sorry, but Sarah Palin comes off horribly. Nice pick McCain.

Game. Set. Match.

Sarah Palin on the, er, issues, or something..

2008-08-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, I was wrong. Apparently you were too, as was everyone. Apparently she had no clue she'd be picked either, as they had to call her in the middle of the night and get her on a plane. Not only that, but WHERE has she been the past few months. Stumping for McCain? Nope. Dealing with her ethics scandal that might get her impeached? Yup. Single-handedly populating sparse areas of Alaska with her Christo-fascist spawn? Perhaps. But the point is, she ain't been around. You know that has to rankle his main female water-carrier of the past few months...Carly Fiorina, the woman who nearly drove HP into the ground. She's been defending the indefensible for months, and McCain picks up a runner-up beauty queen with a penchant for making babies and praying for the end times. Wow.

This is clearly a pick borne out of fear for the McCain camp. Attempting to peel off a few of the mythical PUMA's. The non-existing "Hillary" supporter's who'd pick McCain for some unknown reason. Sure, vote against the guy that agrees with Hillary on, oh, EVERYTHING, and choose the guy who's anti-choice, anti-equality, pro-war, makes jokes about gorillas raping woman, and calls his wife the c-word. Notice that when they interview a PUMA they makes some unintentionally revealing comment? Usually something about "Obama is a moslim" or some shit no self-respecting Democrat (or sane person) would say. They're plants, they don't exist, and McCain fell for his own party's bullshit. Loser.

This is SOOO a sacrificial campaign now. They listened to Obama's speech, said "oh shit", and told Pawlenty or Mittens to hold off til 2012, called crazy girl in the middle of the night and told her to get on a plane. And they had to GIVE away tickets to people to come to this "announcement". Sad. Don't fall for the right wing spin. This is desperation, this is not smart, this will not work, and this is weakness.

But where does Palin stand on the issues? Good question. Won't find it here...

Literally, there's like one fucking line on about 1/3 of the issues. Compare it to Obama's site here. For Obama, there's line after line of a RECORD and POSITIONS and VOTES on EACH and EVERY issue. For Palin, virtually NOTHING. You wanna talk about an experience gap? How can the right wingers claim that she has more or equivalent or anywhere fucking close to the amount of experience Obama has? Oh, that's right...because the right wing is full of fucking liars. Sorry, I forgot, won't happen again.

But the right wingers LOVE her already. What do they care about most? Foreign policy....Palin's stance is "No issue stance yet recorded". Immigration.....Palin's stance is "No issue stance yet recorded". Here's one they care about...Homeland Security...."Promote from within, in Alaska's National Guard. (Nov 2006)" Wow, what a principled stance!!

UPDATE 9/5/08: Checked out the "on the issues" page and it has been updated. Much has been learned about this woman in the past week, not much of it good. Some interesting additions:

Teach creationism alongside evolution in schools. (Aug 2008)
Supports teaching intelligent design in public schools. (Aug 2008)
"K, so she's a flat earther...strike one."

Opposed protections for salmon from mining contamination. (Aug 2008)
Sue US government to stop listing polar bear as endangered. (Aug 2008)
We must encourage timber, mining, drilling, & fishing. (Jan 2008)
Provide stability in regulations for developers. (Jan 2007)
Convince the rest of the nation to open ANWR. (Jan 2007)
Fish platform: "Resource First" philosophy. (Nov 2006)
Rail provides critical link for business development. (Nov 2006)
Supports "Roads to Resources": subsidized access to mines. (Oct 2006)
Don't duplicate effort in monitoring cruise ship emissions. (Oct 2006)
Don't amend AK constitution for rural subsistence fishing. (Oct 2006)
"K, so she is AGAINST the environment....strike two."

17-year-old unmarried daughter is 5 months pregnant. (Sep 2008)
Opposes explicit sex-education programs. (Jul 2006)
"Hmm, you think if she'd let her daughter have a condom or learn how to put one on a cucumber, lil Bristol and Levi might have been spared the embarrassment this week?...that'd be strike three."

Oh, and still nothing on foreign policy...although she's right next door to Russia (snark). You know, I went to the BVI's once, so I'm, like, an expert on British Colonialism now.

Random Thoughts

2008-08-28T20:10:00.001-07:00

1) The Obama speech was impressive and touched on some important themes. I only would have liked a direct attack at the conservative ideology of governance....one that weakens and neuters government when it comes to helping normal people, but acts socialistic when the big boys fall on hard times. There were instances when he touched on that and made the proper distinctions, I just expected that part to be presented more forcefully. All in all a very good speech and I heard one Republican operative expecting a 10% bounce from the convention. No wonder McCain is trying to steal the thunder tomorrow. Which brings me to...

2) I know who Asshole is going to pick tomorrow. Well, I have it narrowed down to two people. Tim Pawlenty, that dipshit gov from Minnesota, is playing coy and canceling interviews for tomorrow. Other than that there's no tactical reason to pick him, that's just where the gossip leads. Biden will chew his ass up in the debate. Other pick is Tom Ridge, former head of the Dept of Protecting the Fatherland...or something Orwellian like that. Former gov of Pennsylvania who is fairly popular there and perceived as a moderate. I just think the Biden pick freaked the fuck out of McCain's people, as Biden strengthens them in the foreign policy arena, on the economy, and in the battleground state of PA. Ridge would give McCain an assist in that state. Granted, he's pro-choice, which could splinter the party. Other than that, he doesn't bring much to the table, other than some duct tape, plastic wrap, and a color-coded bullshit meter. Ahh, fuck it, he'll pick Mittens. No matter, Biden will rip Ken Doll a new asshole too.

3) Back to Obama. What I really liked is the promise of unity and bipartisanship. Yeah, I know, the Republicans are built on not compromising, but the vast majority of Americans are not so bullheaded. Take away 30 percenters, and we have a winning coalition. The 30 percenters only have division as a tactic to win the White House. Divide and conquer has been their strategy for 40 years, and its worked quite a bit. Which brings us to our own local purveyor of right wing bullshit...

4). Checked out the Heavy Drinkers tonight and nearly fell off my chair. Check dis shit out. Take a minute, read it. Yeah, I know....fucking crazy. For those too scared to follow the link, this is what passes for discussion on that board....

Jerry: NEW YORK (Reuters) - New Yorkers are contracting HIV at three
times the national rate, the city health department said on Wednesday,
attributing the difference to New York's large population of high-risk
groups such as gay men and blacks. Blacks and men who have sex with men have
the highest rates of new infections. Half of the city's 2006 infections
occurred among men who have sex with men, the city's health report said.
So... how are these two liberal lifestyles workin for you America? http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSN2748577520080827

Afan:
Another reason to not visit NYC. (Psssst. It's probably Bush's fault...)

Ok, there's not much to make fun of A_fan(atic) here (other than the fact that she-man agrees), its the original post that gets me. The obsession with gay sex makes me think he's got a secret hankering for it. But he talks about TWO groups here...gays and blacks. And he refers to them as TWO liberal lifestyles. WTF is up this guy's ass (other than a rotting gerbil)?? Being homophobic isn't enough, he has to be blatantly racist. But how does being black equate with a political ideology? Is it because 2% or less of blacks would ever vote for a Republican? Is it because a black man voting for a Republican is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders?

This goes on all the fucking time on that board. Jerry will post a article on a pet topic that exposes him for the worst kind of thoughts this side of Michael Weiner Savage. His troglodytic followers post their dittoes in their grammatically-challenged way. Occasionally, a liberal or moderate or fucking-sane person will challenge him on his thoughts. That will undoubtedly lead to deletions, edits, post locking, or banishment. Things quiet down a while, but then the process begins again. Lately I think he's been pushing for an argument, with a recent posting titled "Obama...Democrats...Babykillers??", as if the question mark protects him from having to back-up his bullshit argument. He won't get the argument because the posters on the "free-forum" are scared shitless of his powers. (a free forum that some suckers have given him money for, despite the numerous ads that certainly kick in a few pennies to the unemployed, Workers Comp abusing former radio host) I'd like to post but I've been banned a few times, and the last instance stuck. There's no arguing with folks like that anyway. Anyone who happily posts the above tripe is not worthy of debating.

Nice....

2008-08-27T04:10:00.000-07:00

Some random notes that came to mind after watching last night's coverage and speeches...

1) Hillary knocked it out of the park. Nothing for the pundits to cling to in their never ending quest to divide (the Democrats) and conquer (or give a big assist to the Republicans). Ron Fornier did his best this morning. Fucker. Glad Obama's peeps are wise to the AP's shift to Fox-style "analysis". It still hurts that they keep trotting out the lines Hillary threw out in the primary. But her speech did a lot to shift away from the primary fight.

2) She had a couple good lines. I especially liked the "Sisterhood of the Travelling Pantsuits" joke. Self depreciating and funny. I liked that she eschewed her normal tope pantsuit and came out in a tropical orange. Orange is the new tope!!!

3) Bush/McCain = Twin Cities was another good one. I tell you, all they need to do to win in November is continually air that picture of McCain giving a gay man-hug to Bush. The framing of Bush=McCain in her speech was perfect.

4) I mainly flipped through the coverage, waiting for that featured speech. Fox News ran ALERTS after her speech, telling viewers that Hillary preferred Obama. No shit?!?! Also made the mistake of watching the last 2 minutes of Glen Beck's horrible show. How does Fat Face stay on CNN, the supposed liberal bastion of news, when his ratings are worse than infomercials? Anyway, Beck was "analyzing" Obama's campaign songs to try to belittle him. Apparently Obama plays a U2 song (won't hold that against him) that has the line "you are beautiful", and that rankles Fat Face. Fucking lame. He should have waited til Hillary's intro film. At one point, the background music was Lenny Kravitz "Are You Gonna Go My Way". Yes, Hillary, are you gonna back the Unity Pony or what? Or are you going to split the party after how horribly you were treated by those evil Obamites? As far as bullshit analogies that benefit Republican framing, Fat Face would have been better served to "analyze" that. Too late now.

Yeah, A Pile of Something...

2008-08-15T09:28:00.000-07:00

The above graphic is a depiction from some lee-buh-rul biased reporter from Taxachusets. It can also be viewed here.

Of course, what jumps out is the blatant negativity of McCain's campaign and their necessity of making it all about Obama. The same shit they always do...make it about a referendum about the opponent who's in the political minority, rather than about who drove this country into the shitter to begin with.

The graphic was derived from an online software site (wordle.net). Its interesting nonetheless and I've decided to try it with my own shitty blog. You can mess with the layout and add lots of pretty colors. Check dis shit out, yo....

What jumps out is Gay Ass Fucking. Geez, I've got some problems :(

What YouTube Was Made For

2008-08-11T11:41:00.000-07:00

Double Standards

2008-08-11T06:29:00.000-07:00

The latest media frenzy from John Edwards revealed affair is another anectdote that disproves the liberal-media-myth.

Take their treatment of JE's affair, along with any other affair that involved a politician with a D after their name. The pretty boy trial lawyer first denies the affair, then confirms the affair. His cancer-stricken wife and family already knew about it. There might be a love child and most certainly moneys transferred. The result? Media clusterfuck. Not saying he doesn't deserve the bad press or calls of hypocrisy. But really, the relevation that a politician lied?...stop the freakin presses. Isn't lying a job requirement for those folks. Besides, lying and cheating are one in the same. Too bad he wasn't lying about WMD's or Saddam's ties with Al Qaeda or Pat Tillman's death or torture or warrantless wiretapping or....you get the idea....those lies would have been forgotten and called "old news".

But lets take another example. We have a Republican Senator from AZ currently running for president. Had an affair with his current wife (a rich beer heiress) while married with his crippled first wife. Didn't deny it (said it was in the past) in that trademarked "Straight Talk" way. The NYTimes revealed he was banging a lobbyist (Vicki Iseman) who was also lending him corporate jets and who knows what else for legislative favors. Under pressure, the Times retracted the banging part, but not the rest that entailed ethical (and perhaps legal) lapses. The result? Media silence, save a couple low key mentions in the primary season. Not that it matters though. McCains only running for president, as opposed to not running for president, like Edwards. Not running for president is an important position that requires the closest media scrutiny.

Look at Bill Clinton, Dem. Got a BJ in the oval office from a Jewish girl. The result? Impeachment. Disbarred too. He's also been blamed for hurting his wife's chances for the same reason. Can't have another pussyhound in the White House. It worked so badly with JFK and all. Lets have another sexually repressed pres like Nixon. Sorry, sarcasm doesn't work so well when typing.

Look at David Vitter, Repub. Serial hooker-addict, wore diapers and walked on my stilleto-heeled prostitutes, all the while acting as family values man whose wife would lop off his hoo-hoo-dilly if he ever dared to act like Slick Willy. The result? Media silence and a standing ovation from his fellow Republican. Oh yeah, remember the DC madame whose black book revealed Vitter's name? Well, she's been Suicided (not the self-inflicted multiple gunshot suicide, but suspicious nonetheless). That's another story that's worth less print space than John Edwards having an affair.

Look at Eliot Spitzer, Dem. Revealed, through banking transactions (thank you Total, er, Terrorist Information Awareness), that he was spending thousands on call girls. The result? Immediate resignation and the end of his political career.

Look at Larry Craig, Repub. Destined for Mr. Garrison's character in the live-actor remake of South Park the Movie, he rose to fame when it was revealed that he toe-tapped his way to gay sex in airport bathrooms. How classy....and hygienic. His wife and family stood by him as he convincingly stated "I'm not gay" in a lispy tone. The result? Media frenzy for a short while, but he's still on the job. And he's trying to "protect marriage" from the out-of-the-closet gay community by putting forth amendments with that other stallwart of family values, David Vitter. No, I am not kidding...couldn't make it up if I tried.

There's too many more to go through, but you get the idea. If you're Republican and cheat, you weather the short media storm and keep your job. In the case of McCain, the media refuses to mention it (in fact, ABC scrubbed John Edward's mention of it in his recent interview). If you're a Dem and you cheat, media clusterfuck, trumping all other news (including news that the White House fucking forged documents that tried to tie Saddam with Al Qaeda!!!!!), and your political career is over. No, no double standard there.

Unhhhhhhghhh..

2008-07-24T16:30:00.000-07:00

Oh my god what a douchey asshole. I am sending back my "No Spin"TM door mat as soon as I get home!!! And I want all my money back, paint stains or not!!

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/07/24/oreilly-stooge-ambushes-rep-robert-wexler/

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-flpwexler0724pnjul24,0,2424082.story

How lame is it to send a runner to intimidate someone you're to chickenshit to talk to outside of your studio (with edit power)?

O'Reilly is soooo reaching for this implication because, surprise surprise, Wexler is amongst the loudest of the Impeachment group and a prominent supporter of Obama. Any question who this assbag protects? Starts with a B, think about it. To call his argument limp would be an affront to sufferer's of ED, whom are so deftly represented by John Sydney McCain, the default choice of O'Reilly for president. (McCain was his top guy just behind, in order, 9ui11ani, Fred "the actor, like Reagan" Thompson, kinda sorta Walker-Texas-Ranger-Fan Huckleberry (the most awesomist shitty show ever!!), then Mittens for two weeks).

Anyway, this is standard shit that every congressperson does, regardless of party, ideology, ethics, ideals, etc. What laws did he fucking break? None. What do they have on him? Nothing. It appears that he lives where he works. No shit.

When Republican congressmen live in DC with gay guys, these assholes look the other way an ignore it. But when it comes to a pretty fucking honest Congressman with a wife and three kids, doesn't have the backing of The Corporations, and happens to be a progressive Democrat, O'Reilly goes ape-shit. Give Me A Fucking Break.

Besides, the guy is claiming his MIL's retirement home in Florida. Is he claiming a beach front resort that he bought with his huge dole of campaign contributions and spouse-endowed liquor fortunes? No, he doesn't have the business backing or "luck" to have those finances. So why hate on the guy? You wouldn't, unless you were a douchey asshole like the Fox Fucks.

Anyway, even in this interview (with John Fund, author of a book about the made up crisis of voter fraud), his guest couldn't even bring himself to lie that a law or ethic was broken. I love how they refer to it as a phantom house, as if the ghostly connotation will spell ill for his reelection chances. "Damnit Irma, I was thinking of supporting that Wexler, but I heard O'Reilly say somethin' bout phantoms and all that darkness. I really was going to vote for him and that black guy who is a secret Moslim, but that right there says they hate the baby Jesus." For O'Reilly's audience, I wouldn't put it past them.

What went on in the producer's meeting before they aired this piece? "Florida has no state taxes...well that answers that, can't go on air with this piece...ahh, fuck it, no white women missing this week, gotta fill up the show before the body language expert comes on." Wonder why O'Reilly never asked similar questions of Rick Sanitorium (sp?) who had multiple homes and tax questions and who has appeared on his shitty show many many times. Actually, I know why, and so do you.

Time for Shitty Update !!!!|~/2!!?

2008-07-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm, what to talk about. Been off the paint for a solid day, so its time. Uhhhh, what do I want to talk about......hmmmm....fingers tapping.....OOH!!!

How bout...Things that suck. Or people that suck. Persons, places, and things that sucks. Lets talk about nouns. Nouns suck. Not like adverbs...adverbs fucking rule.

1) People that bitch about updates but don't update their own shitty blog, even though they don't have a fucking thing to do except for IM and blog and occasionally tend to their demon spawn. I have work to do. Plus, this paint ain't gonna huff itself. So lay off and bitch about things that don't apply to your hypocritical ass. Nuff said....well, no, I'll say more later I'm sure...so, not nuff said..more 2 B sed l8tr....laugh out loud.

2) People who type LOL. Anyone EVER say "laugh out loud" ONCE, say, anytime before 1998?!?!?! No, no one ever said that. So fucking quit it...please. I will permit LMAO, or TWFF, or OMG,IJPMP.

Somehow, the perversion of our language was necessitated by cell phones and instant messages. Ok, I understand cell phones. Ever have to text "How are you" or "My ass is on fire"?? Then you know that pressing 446669 277733 99966688 is a major imposition, would much rather shorten to 446669 777 88. As for you folks with a blackberry or full keyboard on your IPOD, there is no excuse for you lazy mofos. And the IM'ers out there, even less of an excuse. Unless your fingers are too fat from sitting in front of the computer 23 hrs out of the day while gorging on cheetos and taco hell, take the extra 1.5 calories to not make me figure out what "pwned" fucking means. Seriously, I don't have all fucking day to google some nonsense word derived from a typo made in 1995.

3) Guitar Hero, Rock Band, or other star-fucking pursuits. Did the Real World producers not respond to your video submittal? Too afraid of bugs to appear on Fear Factor? Not enough talent to appear on the reality show involving citizens of this country who clearly "got" what you lack? Then satisfy your need for 15 minutes of fame by having pixelized fans marvel at your ability to tap buttons on your glorified Simple Simon!!! Have the virtual world be amazed at your rock-tastic skillz!!!! Relive your air guitar fantasies born when the likes of Boston and Slash and CC Deville ruled the airwaves, especially during the month of Rocktober (and through the first week of Rockvember).

4) Aerosmith and any other fucking has-been band willing to whore themselves on a video game. Yes, I saw this commercial...Rock Band Aerosmith. Leave this act of desperation it to the douches who were willing to pitch Gap jeans, do remakes of there past hits of the 70's with sneakered rappers of the 80's, and let one of their daughters do a strip tease in one of their shitty 90's videos (not to mention that daughter didn't even know she was related to the deadbeat until her teens). Atleast the likes of Bret Michaels has the decency to publically humiliate himself on national teevee to maintain his prescription pill addiction. But that's not fucking good enough for Steve Tyler, nooooo!! He's got to maintain an aura of being a rock star by having 30 year olds fake-strum to "Dream On" or scream "Yaka Yaka Yakaww" to "Dude Looks Like A Lady". They're projecting their own douche-baggery to the rest of us!!! Fuck them!!! Don't buy this shit, please. Your own doucheness will decrease and Steven Tyler will have less money to pay for meth or whatever sent his ass back to rehab. So its a win win.

5) Rags from Big Lots. After removing your sandals, do you ever take off your dark socks and have to deal with a pound of navy-hued toe cheese between your toes? Sucks, don't it? Now apply that nasty feeling to your throat after attempting to huff a spray of premium Krylon. Seriously, Big Lots purchasers...you need to do a little more searching for quality products. I'd almost rather use a manually-aerated shop rag than the shit you sell. Until you get your act together, I'm boycotting your store. Do you want to lose more customers? Because I know at least 7 more paint huffers who are willing to scribble what they remember to be their names on my petition. We will bring you down, Big Lots!!! So, the ball is in your court.

6) Bloggers that are too stupid to put pictures and shit on their blog. Seriously, type enough? Like I want to READ your thoughts and feelings. No, I want colorful pictures and embedded videos that give your blog the look of professionalism and alieve my brain of having to work so much. This does not apply to start-up bloggers with less than 3 posts...give them a fucking break, you nazi!!

7) Republicans. Republicans suck ass. Nuff said.

I Have A Blog!!!1!!11!

2008-06-25T08:26:00.000-07:00

Check this out!!! I have a blog!! Aren't you impressed?!?!?!?!

In the next few weeks, I will be ruminating on various thoughts that will be rattling about my abnormally-large noggin. On certain days, my posts will be coherent, inciteful, and inspiring. At other times, my words will be rambling and borderline-schizophrenic. The former will undoubtedly coincide with the days I am unable to secure my OTC medicine. By "OTC", I mean over-the-counter. And by "counter", I mean the register at my local paint or auto supply store. Fortunately for you, the faithful reader, when I am in possession of my much needed aerosol-elixir (and breathable rag), I will not be here typing away. Instead, I will likely be stumbling along my local streets and avenues, occasionally staring blankly at the sun, and frequently ducking from the fuzz (especially if they have a camera crew in tow). I do not need another appearance on True Stories of the Highway Patrol, no sir. However, these days of therapy-in-a-can will undoubtedly arouse inspiration for this very blog. And we will all be the better for it. That is, if I deftly avoid an arrest for public intoxication and another embarrasing mugshot.

So, dear reader, be patient as I conjure my next Polk award-winning blog post. May the Krylon be with you.